Saturday, May 10, 2014

Taking a breath

Life has been a little crazy this year but I'm looking forward to things hopefully slowing down over the summer. I decided to stop doing photography for Shabby Apple. It was a really good experience for me, but it will also be nice to have my Saturdays back.  I've missed seeing and hanging out with my friends on a regular basis. I've missed being able to go out in nature and the smell of soil and trees. I've missed having a day full of untold adventures before me. Somehow, with just one less responsibility on my plate I feel very free. I'm starting to make plans again. I actually shopped ahead and wrapped John's presents for his birthday this year. The last couple of years I just had him close his eyes and put his gifts under blankets. I tell myself I was just being super eco-conscious by not wasting paper, but let's face it, pretty packages are just a lot more fun for the receiver and, truth be told, I like wrapping things. It's therapeutic, like origami is supposed to be but never is for me.

I posted this on social media earlier, but my nephew, Thaddeus, got into Berkeley! Our whole family is very proud and excited for him.  I predict some future trips to San Francisco for us all. To my high school self Berkeley was desirable because of its reputation as a punk rock mecca. Operation Ivy. Dance Hall Crashers. Rancid. I'm glad Thaddy is going for academic reasons. I can't wait to see what life will be like for him there. I'll always have a little college nostalgia. We'll be going to San Diego for his graduation. I can't wait to see my family again! It's been about 7 months. I'm really excited about the graduation gift I got him! I want it for myself! This is kind of trivial, but I'm also eager to go to Mitsuwa and stock up on some Japanese products. I need good rice again! I finished a book called A Tale for the Time Being that reminded me that I really want to visit Japan. I started dreaming about retiring to the grounds of a buddhist temple one day and taking long baths in an ofuro, listening to birds, walking up moss covered steps, and sitting zazen, but not for too long. John can't sit still for very long.

Speaking of summer, I've had trouble grasping what to do. There's that elusive photo equipment and lighting class at SLCC that I've been trying to take for the last 2 years but has never worked out with my schedule. Maybe this year is the year? Of course there's girl's camp, but that's not until August. And then there's IVF. Again. Round 4. Year 5. I guess I haven't ever mentioned this specifically on here. But there it is. I am very grateful that we have the means to do this, but what many people don't know is that it puts a damper on traveling and planning. You are kind of glued to a fertility clinic for monitoring, blood draws, and ultra sounds for a one to two month period and it can get exhausting both mentally and physically. But we've done this before so I'm not worried. Just antsy. We're nearing the end of this treatment period in our lives, so the future seems a little vast whether this time is successful or not.


Anne said...

I love your Shabby Apple photos but it sounds like this is a much needed break!

That is super exciting about Berkeley. I've always liked it and wanted to go there in high school although I didn't know enough about it at the time. :) Do you watch Parenthood? They live in Berkeley and it looks like such an awesome place.

Good luck with IVF. I'll be thinking of you!

PS I want to see a short hair picture! You have the best hair and I love your attitude about it. I put too much emotion into mine, maybe because it's such a pain to grow?

Tanei Atagi said...

HEY! Let's go to Japan together and go to the onsen! We love you guys and we miss you so!