Monday, June 25, 2012

Where I live

John and I have been living in the same place for quite awhile compared to a lot of people our age.  I used to really dislike Utah because it was so different from where I grew up.  Moving here at the age of 18 from the west coast, I would complain (snobbishly) about the lack of diversity, view points, ocean, good stores to shop at, the miserable snow, and hellish summer heat.  There are still some things that I miss about the coast and somethings that are not the most desirable in the Beehive State, but at the same time I have grown to love and appreciate where I live.  We have gorgeous natural wonders, mountains, fresh crisp rivers and springs, wild animals, friendly people, those who understand our beliefs, and most of all a home.

It may come time for us to move in the future. The discussion of where we wanted to live used to spark a little spitfire on my end.  It was California or bust, or some other large coastal city.  Maybe younger me was a bit influenced by my materialistic side because I think part of my mind wanted to have the superiority of bragging about where I went, what I had, or what I had seen . Note there is a difference between bragging for bragging sake and appreciation and wonder for what you have. Now, I want to reside somewhere where I can live. Really live. Where I can create. Where I don't have to worry about *working just to have a roof over my head or to keep up with lifestyles around me. Somewhere that enables me to have the time and resources to help others. Not somewhere to show off. Not a place to collect unimportant items or shop. I really liked this quote from Benh Zeitlin, director of Beasts of the Southern Wild, and felt that it kind of summarizes my thoughts:

"When I was living in New York, I was living in this shoebox in Bushwick, wanting to be making my films, but I couldn't do it. When you're living in New York, there's that frustration: you're not free because you're fighting to survive in these ways that don't fulfill you.
When I got to New Orleans, I felt like for the first time, I felt like I can do whatever I want right now. . . You don't need the things you need elsewhere. You lead a fun, fulfilled life without all that stuff and that gives you the ability to not need so much money, which gives you all this time to work on your art. . . The film is very much about why that is so important that it's worth living somewhere that allows you to grow. Once you've been, you can't give up that heightened freedom and live somewhere else. "

Perhaps, in some ways, the west coast is my New York. Some day I would love to move back to my hometown.  Maybe when the time is right and we are in the position to do so comfortably that will happen. I've found though, that if I'm motivated by the right reasons, I can make anywhere my home. Right now it is Utah. It is the place that gives me the space and opportunities I need to feel that freedom and grow.

*I do realize that sometimes this is just necessary.


molly said...

I totally love that quote. In so many of my film classes, we were warned against the idea of 'moving to the big city to make our art' - we were instead instructed to make our art and then if you want to - move wherever you want.

Also, I love your banner/header thingy! You kids are so cute!

Emily said...

I totally agree though I could do without winter and would love a little bit more space!! Love your header too- can't remember if I said anything about that earlier. . . .

holtkamp said...

utah was definitely low on my list. now i've lowered my 'standard' out of necessity. still not excited about our move but excited to see you :)

beckie said...

This is something I have thought long and hard about since we are living for an interim time in Georgia and then who knows where we will end up. I have always loved the idea of living in a glamorous place or even returning to washington (expensive places). Maybe I just crave more culture than my current situation allows but then I think, am I really taking advantage of where I live? I think there is something to be said for the person who can make anywhere home and find the best parts of that place and let it inspire them in their art.

This also reminds me of the train of thought, "I wish I could work just enough to buy more clothes and go on trips." But do I really need those things in order to justify stressing myself out by adding more to my plate. When is it worth it?

Either way, I'm glad you like Utah and you will be surprised how much you miss it when you eventually leave. I miss it a little.