Friday, April 23, 2010

As of late

My week has been full of paper work (passports and house stuff), bridal shower and engagement shoot planning, preparing kids for testing, and unfortunately funeral plans. My grandmother passed away on Tuesday rather suddenly after contracting pneumonia. I will be leaving to attend her funeral next week and so was thankful that the reverend at the Buddhist church was able to do the service on a non-school and non-testing day. I was starting to get very stressed about pressure to fulfill my responsibilities at school and to my students and my duty to my family. You don't know how many prayers I said in my head and out loud that this scheduling would work out.

It feels strange not to have any grandparents. It's the passing of a generation in our family. Also, our ties to Hawaii seem to be severed now. Trips to the islands were mostly about family, not getting a tan, and now we don't have Grandma and Grandpa to visit there. One thing that makes a lot of this alright in my mind is that my grandparents were only apart for a year and the fact that they are together again is a comfort and a joy. They both lived into their 90's and had very full lives.

It seems that the last five years or so have brought the passing of many family and friends. I've been to more funerals then I ever have before. It makes me feel old and also a little frightened about losing those close to me. I start wondering what it may be like when my own parents pass away or when I may start to lose some of my siblings. I know these are not helpful thoughts but my mind wanders to such things anyway. Each time someone passes I seem to always reflect upon the same thing: that there are so many unimportant things I fill my life with and other, better things that could take their place.

For some pictures of other things, John put up a post a day this week on his much neglected blog. I also have two cameras full of film that's almost finished being shot. I hope to get at least one roll finished off and developed this weekend.


Kerstin said...

Last weekend we attended Brent's Grandfather's funeral, so I have been having similar feelings.

Death really puts everything into perspective.

Emily said...

Sorry to hear about your grandma but glad she's with your grandpa now.

Heidi said...

Sorry for you safely. You'll be in our prayers.

Kristen said...

I'm so sorry Melinda. I'm glad you will be able to go and honor her life. Travel safe.