Early on in this experience, John and I learned how to grieve together. We've found some very large differences with how we cope with grief and now know what to expect of each other and also what we need to ask for from each other during these times. We know how we both act after long periods of emotional stress. These things, while not pleasant, are things I am very grateful for and I feel that our marriage relationship is stronger because of them.
I don't know that I would tell past me all that I had originally thought I would. I think instead I might tell her that some hard times were coming ahead, that they wouldn't be without moments of joy, but that they would be hard. I think I would tell her to continue to build a strong testimony, that there will be people there to support her, that John will be with her every step of the way, and to go easy on herself.